Exhausted beyond belief. I feel like I sleep enough but for some reason naps are inevitable. When I try to fight them, I feel as though I end up feeling sick…swollen glands, sore throat, etc. So complicated. I just want to pack and start making my apartment empty but it just seems to be taking so much time and energy. I feel as though I’m not accomplishing enough. Tomorrow morning is trash pick up so I want to get rid of kitchen table, trashbags, chairs, end tables, and few drawers that I had under my bed. Hopefully that will help with clutter. Then I just want to pack everything thursday and friday. So that I can spend following week just cleaning. Gotta take cookies to moms house too so she can adjust. Oh my, totally running out of time. All I want to do is cuddle up in my bed and read my books.
When we don’t listen to our intuition, we abandon our souls. And we abandon our souls because we are afraid if we don’t, others will abandon us."
It hurts to have loved many, they all take a piece of you and soon you barely have anything left. I wish life was simple and we only fell in love once. That way the person who took a part of you, was always beside you. That way you didn’t have to watch the people you once loved, love someone else. And you could love, never comparing to the one’s you had before.
I’m overwhelmed to say the least. It seems as though the days pass by so quickly and time does nothing but escape me. It is like I can’t even keep up anymore. I know it isn’t a race but it is like I’m constantly losing. One step closer is always just a millions steps behind from where I want to be. That’s life though..a million and one goals and it is good to have dreams but what is the point if the days slip though your fingers and you can’t ever get a grip of the minutes that pass by.
It isn’t even about getting older anymore, it is just about getting things done. I feel stuck. Like time won’t stop, yet I’m frozen. Stuck in this place.
I need to work on a lot. My temperament for one. My moodiness and my tendency to be indecisive. I need to be more calm and easy going. It isn’t that I am not grateful, I am, but I have this need for control or perfection maybe. I just need to learn to stop, let things be. I’m always in a rush yet I have no where to go. I’m here.